I’ve recently read that if you don’t like cats you probably associate love with control and I think that that’s probably true. I’ve noticed that most people that come to my apartment and claim to not like cats when they meet my cat Mia they will approach her like or even they will try to grab her pretty much like they would approach a dog. And Mia, like most cats would do, is like “get off me freak,” and then those people are like “this is why I don’t like cats.” That is so crazy to me because my cat did not trust you right away for no reason, with you doing nothing to gain it. My cat is an individual. How can you be so entitled to be loved? Does this ever happen to you? Do you have that kind of friend? Write yes or no in the comment section below. I would love to know if I’m alone here.
Understanding Cats’ Trust
Well, getting a dog to love you can be pretty easy. With cats, as it happens with people, that’s not gonna happen overnight. You will have to earn it and particularly scared cats will need a helping hand. In today’s video, I’m gonna share with you three things you should not do and three things that you should do if you want to gain a cat’s trust. I believe all points that I’m going to share are crucial but if there’s one that you already know you can skip to the next one using the timestamps that you will find in the description box down below.
Things to Stop Doing
First, forcing your cat to do things is the worst enemy to creating a bond and generating trust with your cat. Holding your cat against their will, taking them out from a hiding spot, forcing them to play, or petting them when they don’t want to will increase their fear and reinforce their anxiety around you. If your cat is hiding, try to use food or a toy to lure them out. If every time you go by your cat you pet them, most likely you’re going to engage in petting in times where your cat doesn’t want to be pet, and this is most likely going to create a negative experience. If your cat starts associating you petting them with negative experiences, not only your cat will avoid you to prevent you from petting them when they don’t want to, they might even associate your general presence with something bad. Have you ever noticed how cats tend to gravitate to the one allergic person in the room? Playing hard to get is the best way to get a cat to approach you. Letting your cat take the lead in the affection moments is going to ensure that those interactions are sought by the two parties.
Feeding and Socialization
Stop free-feeding your cat. Think about it, if your cat always has food available for them, in their eyes they found it. Automatic feeders are not much better for the same reason. If you feed your cat meals instead of leaving the food out or using an automatic feeder, your cat will learn to come to you when they are hungry and every time it’s mealtime, it’s an opportunity to socialize. They will associate you with their meals—someone good, someone worthy of their trust and affection. Be the hand that feeds your cat. With every meal, you can get closer to them or even pet them. Getting your cat comfortable enough to eat when you’re nearby can go a long way in getting your cat to trust you.
Positive Interactions
A little trick to get your cat to like the people that come over and have positive interactions with your visitors: you should have some treats ready for your guests when they arrive. Hand them some treats, let them reward your cat for accepting them into their territory. Your cat will soon link new people with their favorite treats, and if that’s not a positive association, what is it?
Avoid Punishment
Don’t punish your cat. Spraying, yelling, kicking your cat is not just not going to help you; it’s going to make matters worse. Mia, no. Good girl. Allow your cat to associate you with positive things. You have to avoid punishing them when they engage in behaviors that you don’t want to see. Punishing them will create a negative association with you and also affect their anxiety levels, impacting their general well-being as well. No, it’s so easy to enter the Bermuda triangle of punishment. And by the way, I think I just coined this word. Your cat does something that you don’t want them to do, you punish them because you don’t want them to do that, but it creates anxiety, and that anxiety will make your cat do things that you don’t want them to do, and there you go—another cat lost to the Bermuda triangle. The process to stop your cat from engaging in negative behaviors has three steps: understand what is causing the behavior, offer an alternative, and reward when they use the alternative instead of the unwanted behavior.
Play Regularly
Play regularly and often with your cat. Cats socialize as kittens with play; they learn to trust each other, define boundaries, and interact in a meaningful manner thanks to their hunting instinct. When cats are playing, they are in hunting mode, and when a cat is in hunting mode, they are fearless. Figure out what toys your cat responds to and play with them as much as you can. Shy cats might prefer a toy focused on a distant object such as feather wands or laser pointers. Others might respond well to catnip-filled mice or other catnip toys. Once you find the ones they like, set up some time each day for activities and playtime. I’ve created a full video talking about the best ways to interact with your cat during playtime and how to get your cat to play with you. It’s a must-watch if you haven’t watched it already.
Create and Stick to Routines
Create and stick to daily routines. Routine will help your cat anticipate what’s coming. With enrichment and exercise schedules, your cat won’t be looking around seeking ways to burn some energy while they wait for you. They will lay low until the scheduled time arrives. This is particularly important if you’re not working at home and you are all day at the office. You want to let them know that during the day you’re out, there’s no enrichment, but at the beginning of the day before you leave and at the end of the day after you arrive, they’re going to get that enrichment, and therefore they’re not going to seek it on their own. When it comes to your pet’s routine, think about the things that motivate them the most. What’s on your mind? It’s probably food, mental stimulation, playtime, and you. Help them understand when to expect meals, their exercise, and your undivided attention to playing and grooming. Write it down. Really, write it down. You can stop the video and do it now. I even recommend you to set up some alarms on your phone that will remind you every day when that time has arrived—if your cat is not reminding you first. I know I have already said it two times, but stop the video, write it down, and stick to it.
Understand Your Cat’s Space Needs
Learn to understand when your cat needs space. When your cat starts swaying their tail, for instance, your cat is getting anxious. If you learn when to release your cat because they need to and they feel that they can come and go, they will be more likely to come back to you. The one thing that you can do today to start improving your bond with your cat is learning more about their body language. In this video, I’m going to be sharing with you 18 things that your cat is trying to tell you that you might not be interpreting correctly. Your cat is very subtle, sending you cues, but they do it all the time. When you learn to interpret them and give your cat the space they need, it will take the bond and the trust to the next level.
Stay wild, stay safe, see you outdoors.
